Do you ever feel lonely as a woman leader in IT?
It can feel like being on an island–isolated and overlooked.
I spoke recently with a woman leader in IT who felt this isolation deeply.
She was the only woman manager in her organization and longed for a network of peers who truly understood her challenges.
Without this support, who do you turn to when you need encouragement or a listening ear?
It’s tough when your male peers seem to have plenty of support.
Imagine having a community of women you trust to share ideas with and express concerns.
In this episode, I’ll share the benefits of building a network of women peers and colleagues, creating a supportive system to overcome loneliness in your IT career.
Build a Strong Network of Women Supporters for Your IT Career
I recall many times throughout my career being the only woman leader in the room. It took years for me to adapt.
I was fortunate to have two women managers early on that provided helpful guidance, mentoring, and a support system I could rely on.
As I moved up in the leadership chain, I was surrounded by men with only a couple of women peers. We would talk periodically and share concerns, but didn’t ever really establish solid relationships.
I had worked in an office environment for many years until the Covid-19 pandemic reached my location in March 2021. We were told to pack up our laptops, bare essentials, and work from home.
Navigating this unsettling time in the world was scary for everyone and I knew that what was being asked of us wasn’t unreasonable. It truly was the safest option and we were fortunate to be able to work from home.
Did you experience something similar during this time?
For me personally, it was one of the most difficult periods of my career.
I’m an introvert by nature and enjoy time to myself. I also love people and enjoyed seeing my colleagues at work every day. We discussed our work projects, organizational activities, and family life, all fostering camaraderie through shared experiences.
I felt the absence of my colleagues and the friends I had made through work, leading to a deep sense of loneliness.
After working remotely for about eighteen months, I was given the option to continue as a remote worker, become a hybrid worker where time was split between the office and home, or switch to an on-site worker.
My team had all adapted to working remotely and most of them wanted to continue. It didn’t make sense for only one or two of us to work in the office, so we all remained remote workers.
I’ll never forget the day I went into my office to clean out years’ worth of important project files, training manuals, and personal items from my desk. It felt surreal.
I mourned the loss of connection with the wonderful colleagues I had worked alongside for years, the familiar aroma of coffee greeting me as I entered the building, and the vibrant hustle and bustle of employees moving through their daily routines.
This decision was final and I had to accept that I would never again be working in the environment I really loved.
I eventually adapted to working remotely and even got to a point where I was comfortable with it.
This pivotal time in my career pushed me to step outside my comfort zone and create new connections with other women to rekindle joy in my work life.
I took simple steps at first by sending chat messages to women I wanted to form relationships with asking how their weekend was, or sharing funny emojis or memes and they did likewise.
And then I got the courage to ask if they would like to go out for lunch. They were delighted that I asked!
Over time, those relationships grew to invites for events and gatherings outside of work, which was even more fun!
It was wonderful to have a network of other women in IT that understood the culture, the organizational challenges, and could be a listening ear when I needed to talk about issues I was dealing with. Of course, I did the same for them!
They were women of high integrity, who cared deeply for other people in the organization. I trusted and respected each of them whole-heartedly.
Do you find it difficult to connect to and form relationships with other women? Maybe you’ve had past experiences that have violated your trust? I can relate to that struggle too and have worked hard to welcome other women into my life.
Use your gift of intuition to identify the women you want to form relationships with. You most likely already feel a connection to them, so be courageous and take it a step further.
Here are 5 benefits of having a strong network for women leaders in IT:
- Benefit #1 – Provides emotional support and encouragement, helping women leaders navigate the challenges of a male-dominated field.
Having this type of community is SO valuable! It’s so comforting to know you’re not alone. You can openly share what you’re experiencing and know that you have the backing of other women going through similar challenges.
- Benefit #2 – Grants access to mentors who offer valuable advice, share experiences, and guide career development.
I periodically met with a senior woman leader in IT to seek advice on contracts and guidance for navigating organizational leadership. She acted as a mentor in this capacity, was generous with her time, and offered an open invitation whenever I needed it.
- Benefit #3 – Opens doors to collaborative projects and initiatives, fostering innovation and growth.
I supported a peer in developing her program, and in return, she assisted my team in managing our risks. This collaborative effort leveraged our respective strengths and saved us hours of learning time.
- Benefit #4 – Facilitates the exchange of ideas, best practices, and industry insights, keeping leaders informed and ahead of trends.
Presenting at IT conferences offers a valuable opportunity to connect with women in similar IT fields. By sharing how you’ve effectively implemented processes and practices to benefit your organization, you can earn their respect and encourage them to seek further insights.
- Benefit #5 – Enhances visibility and recognition in the industry, leading to new opportunities and career advancement.
Much like benefit #4, consistently leading and guiding your team in industry best practices opens the door to new opportunities.
The deep loneliness I felt went away when I challenged myself to be courageous and build my network of women leaders.
I enjoyed my work life so much more knowing that we were there to support and edify each other and that together, we were stronger and more resilient.
If you haven’t yet built a network of women in your workplace, I highly encourage it. Begin with small steps to connect with other women and gradually expand from there.
I’m so excited to hear how incorporating this change enriches your career!
Stay empowered and lead assertively!