A requirement for my CIS degree was an organizational development course.
It covered topics like organizational change management, talent and performance management, improving team dynamics, and continuous improvements.
I loved the class and found the content relevant and applicable in my work environment.
What made the course even better was the professor’s teaching style. She made a comment one day that really made an impression on me, “I’d rather be respected, than liked”.
I reflected on that statement over the next several months. At that time in my career, I felt like it was really important to be liked. I remember thinking, can’t I have both?
The distinction the professor was making is that she wanted to be acknowledged, respected and valued for her work at the university. Integrity and self-respect were top values.
In this episode, discover how assertiveness can be a game-changer for women leaders in IT.
Assertive Leadership Results in Success for Women Leaders in IT
One of the great advantages of being a woman leader in IT is the ability to create your own psychologically safe team environment. You lead by example and model the behaviors you value and inspire your team to follow.
Creating this environment is critical for you and your team to share thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in an open, honest, and respectful way without judgment. You defend your rights while also respecting others.
One of the greatest role models in my career was a woman manager I had early on. I remember how she communicated challenging situations and the impact it would have on our organization.
She didn’t sugar coat the news and try to make it sound like it was a great opportunity. She spoke openly about it and shared her thoughts about the impacts.
I gained so much respect for her being able to communicate honestly and authentically. If she didn’t know the answer to a question, she would simply state, “I don’t have an answer for that. I’ll have to get back to you”.
She was confident in her leadership abilities and definitely didn’t hold back if a difficult conversation with an employee was needed. She was direct and decisive while remaining kind and approachable, a great example of an assertive woman leader in IT.
As a woman leader in IT, it is critical to focus on being respected more than being liked.
When your driving goal is to be well liked instead of gain respect, you’re more likely to:
- Avoid difficult conversations, such as in employee performance issues or conflict between employees.
- Fail to set clear expectations in your organization around work hours, availability, or workload.
- Say ‘yes’ to unreasonable requests rather than strategize what’s best for the organization or project.
This type of behavior can be very impactful to you as a woman leader in IT, and to the employees in your organization and can result in:
- Employees view you as an ineffective leader, which impacts your ability to enforce rules, and drive initiatives.
- Decreased team performance, low productivity and accountability.
- Lack of respect from employees, colleagues, and leadership due to indecisiveness and absence of authority.
- Chaos within the organization due to lack of direction and communication.
Have you ever been in an organization with this type of leadership? It is incredibly frustrating to everyone involved and over time, employees begin to joke and make light of the entire situation.
If this struck an emotional chord with you, take heart.
Here are 3 strategies to enhance your assertiveness:
- Seek constructive feedback from peers and colleagues you trust and respect. Ask with sincerity what you can do to improve.
- Practice saying, “no” and setting boundaries. It gets easier with time.
- Practice articulating thoughts, decisions and difficult conversations. Rehearse in a mirror or record them.
You gain the respect of others when you lead with assertiveness and authority, and in doing so, become someone they admire and like.
You increase your communication skills and ability to present your best ideas successfully, gaining respect and credibility, which leads to increased confidence and empowerment.
Assertiveness truly drives the success in your career as a woman leader in IT.
Stay empowered and lead assertively!