How often do you find yourself checking in or asking for permission, before making a decision?
It’s something I see all the time with women leaders in IT.
Capable, intelligent women who have learned to second-guess themselves.
In leadership, you’re expected to think, decide, and act.
While experience builds confidence, so does making decisions before you feel 100% ready.
Mistakes are part of the process. Strong leaders don’t dwell on them—they ask, “What did I learn?” and keep moving.
Gathering input is important, but at some point, the decision has to be yours.
When you consistently ask for permission, it comes across as hesitation—and over time, that affects how much others trust your leadership.
Shifting that pattern not only changes how you’re seen, it opens the door to your next opportunity.
In this episode, we’ll talk about how to trust your decision-making, and lead with more confidence and clarity.
From Second-Guessing to Confident Decision-Making as a Woman Leader in IT
Asking for permission often shows up in how you approach decision-making.
See if any of these sound familiar…
- Running an idea by your manager when you already know the answer.
- Over-explaining before you’ve even stated your decision.
- Waiting for consensus when timing is critical.
I’ve been there too—especially early in my leadership career.
I remember struggling with a hiring decision for a critical role on my team.
A subcontractor was already doing the work and was highly qualified—but there was a pattern of leaving and coming back that concerned me.
This role supported a complex enterprise system, and I couldn’t afford to make the wrong call.
We interviewed other candidates, but it ultimately came down to the subcontractor… or someone who would need to relocate.
The customer strongly preferred the subcontractor. But I was emotionally torn.
Part of me wanted to move forward and keep everyone happy. Another part of me didn’t feel confident they would stay.
I went back and forth for two weeks.
Finally, I met with my manager and asked what he thought I should do.
And his response was simple—“Have you talked to them about your concern?”
I hadn’t.
That conversation shifted everything.
I met with the subcontractor, shared my concern openly, and gave them space to respond.
They reassured me they wanted to stay—and that clarity made the decision clear.
Whew! I was so relieved!
Looking back, I didn’t need permission. I needed a better approach to making the decision.
And this is where critical thinking becomes so important.
If you haven’t listened to it yet, I walk through this in more detail in Episode 7, “5 Steps to Increase Critical Thinking for Women Leaders in IT.”
But at a high level, it’s about looking at your decision from a few key angles:
- Strategically—does this align with the goals of the organization?
- Logically—does the solution actually make sense when you walk through it?
- Relationally—who will be impacted by this decision?
- And intuitively—what is your gut telling you?
When you take the time to think through those perspectives, you gain clarity.
And when you have clarity, you don’t feel the same need to ask for permission.
You can move forward with confidence—knowing you’ve done the work to make a sound decision.
Over time, that’s what builds trust in your leadership.
You make decisions more quickly. You communicate them more clearly.
And you stop second-guessing yourself.
If this is something you’ve been struggling with, you’re not alone—and it’s absolutely something you can strengthen.
Stay empowered and lead assertively!